All Consuming Loneliness

All Consuming Loneliness

I originally had a different blog post planned, one with a great picture of one of my cats.

Then I met with individuals this week and heard what they had to say.

With COVID revamping, and just the daily stressors of being an adult in the 21st century in America, there was this pattern of loneliness. 

Not just the “oh I’m bored and no one is available to hang out”. The “nights keep getting darker, I am depleted, alone, and losing hope” type of loneliness. 

Here’s the kicker: no one that mentioned this loneliness is trying to avoid people or relationships. Sure there has been previous relational wounding (we’ve all dealt with that), but they are actively doing the work to heal. The struggle is we are never taught as children how to actually build friendships or a support system. 

We go to school and find friends in class, surrounded by 20 other kids. Then middle and high school happens, and we follow the same pattern. Then college. Same pattern.

Suddenly we graduate. Once the happiness of never writing another paper fades away, we find that we have no idea where to go to find friendships, especially if we don’t have the people at work or don’t want to view work as the only outlet.

We try getting involved with different activities and hobbies. Even then, we can feel lost in how to form a friendship with someone where there is authenticity, vulnerability, accountability, security, consistency, and trust. (And honestly, do we even know what those qualities look like in a friendship…I have definitely had plenty of relationships that did not include all of those qualities.)

In 4 weeks, the Justin and Caitlin show will return to walk through what forming relationships looks like. We will spend time unpacking this and talking about the real struggles in today’s culture of building lasting friendships. I will also be writing blog posts detailing different aspects. 

For the first blog post, I will leave you with this: You are not alone. 

The struggle of finding healthy people to begin relationships with and how to even do that is not something that everyone else knows how to do besides you. It is something that we all have to learn, especially as adults. So the critical thoughts that begin attacking you, saying that something is wrong with you or that you are alone for a reason, now have a reason to be silenced. It is possible to heal from previous relational wounding that causes you to isolate from others. It is possible to find others that desire deeper friendships, authentic relationships. Over the next few months, we will walk through this. Together.

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