Recognition and Grief

Recognition and Grief

I don’t have all of the right words to say, and honestly, I’m not sure what those are at this point.

Because there are not any words that can take away the pain, atrocities, and grief that occurred this past weekend.

I had another blog post planned for this week but to move on and ignore what has occurred would be one of the highest forms of disrespect. We do not consistently comment on current events in this blog, but this is more than a current event. I also write this blog as a white female who, although I am an ally, cannot fathom the true pain and atrocities racism brings.

We talked a few posts back about our threat response system. How it is sensitive and responds to any possible threat, whether real or imagined, in order to keep us safe. Even for those who do not live in Buffalo, the crushing reality of the racism in the American way of life is a very real threat.

For those in bodies who are not white, who live in America, there is a daily threat against them simply because of color of their skin.

Their grief needs to be recognized.

Reality needs to be addressed.  

Part of what we do in therapy is learn how to pay attention to our own voice and to the voices of others.

For those of you who want to support the community of color, I encourage you to hear the voices of those around you. Actually hear them.

They don’t need your opinion or the “here’s what I would have done”. Hear them so you can understand that your reality is not the full picture.

Once you have heard them, and I mean truly heard them – their perspective, how this has impacted their daily lives, the pain, the frustration, the anger, the grief – then and only then can you respond from a place of love.

For those of you feeling the grief, I encourage you to be kind to your bodies. No, spending some extra quiet time this week will not suddenly fix everything. However, if we are not regulated and rested, it will be nearly impossible to bring about the type of change that needs to happen. So spend some time, listen to your body’s voice. What does it need?

You are seen.

You are loved.

You are not alone.

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