Vision

Vision

Have you given up on dreaming big in this season of unpredictability and global chaos?

Wondering how you can recapture your joy for life?

Join us on a journey of building Vision!

I don’t know about you, but I feel as if the last few years have been an exercise in wandering – it has been so difficult to set goals, make plans or set expectations when at any moment, things can be upended.  All of us dealt with the complete upheaval of life that COVID brought in 2020; many of us witnessed propaganda, viewpoints and behaviors from loved ones during global and cultural crisis that we would never have expected; thanks to ongoing supply shortages and the long-overdue revolution of a workforce tired of being exploited – gone are the days when you can order an item or step into a store and assume that it will be available at whim.  Inflation is rapidly changing our financial expectations.  Anyone who has traveled recently knows that we do well to hold travel plans loosely.  Justin and Andrea took a vacation/scouting trip last summer where not.one.single.planned task or event went as intended.  Not one.  Coming home early was definitely discussed but it got to a point where it was downright comical how predictable it became that whatever we planned would fall through or be delayed in an endless variety of ways.  Experiences like this have made it very difficult for many of us to generate motivation for specific goals or plans.  I have said many times out loud that without a vision, the people perish.

What happens when we have no feasible vision for the future; when our days are a series of unfortunate dynamics – both globally and domestically?  We become focused on the negative, the unpredictability, the instability, the worries of what’s next?.  Problem is, the science of neurology tells us that we move toward what we ruminate on.  I find that we so often focus on what is not as we would like or what we don’t want in our lives: I need to stop doing [insert dysfunction here].  The problem is, this thing we don’t want is the mental ‘vision’ before us and though we are running from it, we somehow find ourselves entangled in it.  That’s because we must decide what behavior or thought we want to replace it with.  What need is that dysfunction trying to meet?  How can we meet that need in a healthier way?  Time and time again, in my own life and in the lives of clients, success is finally achieved when we stop worrying about the thing we don’t want and focus on it’s desirable replacement instead!  So, for example – instead of saying, why bother making plans – it will all fall apart anyway, we ask ourselves, what character quality do I want to cultivate in myself? and focus on the steps required to do so.

It is this understanding of the importance of focusing our brains on what we value that inspired me to launch a vision-boarding quest as we close out the year.  The reality is, life is not settling back into ‘predictability’ anytime soon.  The overdue bills from corporate greed and environmental abuse are coming due.  War is brewing in a world that no longer has the luxury of dissociating from conflict in other hemispheres.  Now, more than ever, we must develop the ability to focus our minds on possibility and values if we are to avoid throwing our hands up in defeat.  I want to facilitate a fun-filled process of identifying what matters to each of us in this season and create together, a visual representation to which we can refer, throughout the next year.

Vision boards have been used for all sorts of goals: professional accomplishments, material possessions, travel wishes, physical milestones, etc.  For the past several years, I have used vision boards to illustrate a value or concept that I believe God is emphasizing in my life at that time.  As we take this journey together, you decide how you want to use the process.  Is there a physical activity you want to train for? A goal you want to reach for at work? A place you want to visit?  A value or characteristic you want to cultivate in your life?  I will encourage you to distill the desires of your heart down to what is stable – what endures despite the unpredictability of our world.

Each week in November, I will post prompting questions on Facebook and Instagram, to help you tune in to where your heart is now and what matters most to you moving into the new year.  I will offer general prompts as well as additional questions that invite a faith perspective to the process if that is of interest to you. Use these prompts to journal and reflect, building a vision that is authentic to you but durable in the face of uncertainty.  These posts will show up in our stories as well as timeline on both platforms.  On Instagram, I’ll create a Vision highlight for our stories so that this can be used anytime in the future.

In early December, I may host vision-boarding events, online or in person, (depending on interest), where we will make our boards together.

Doing

Experience is the greatest teacher they say…  Whatever dysfunctions we have going on in our lives (and yes, we all have some) – we come by them honestly.  None of us wakes up one morning and decides to be defensive, destructive, avoidant, etc. for no reason.  We approach life based on the experiences we’ve had and the meanings we’ve made of them.  When those meanings are no longer functional, that’s where therapy comes in.  Together, we explore past experiences and how we interpreted them to identify the sticking points that cause negative results today.  Then, we work together to re-examine those experiences and expand the meanings to understandings that lead to more positive ways of doing life.  The healthy relationship formed in therapy provides a model for the rest of life and offers a safe base from which to go out and change our worlds for the better.

The work done in the therapy room is not effective without implementation into daily life.  Healing requires doing.  We must test out our new meanings, creating new experiences that will cement those meanings in our hearts and not just our brains.  This is the terrifying part.  It can be so comforting and enlightening to have ah-ha moments in therapy.  “Whaaat?!  That’s why I’ve always done that?  Oh my gosh, this totally makes sense now!”  Those insights are wonderful and make for much internal relief and de-stressing.  But then….we have to act “as if”.  If this new understanding is true, what do I do differently?  This is where the terror comes in because it is a great act of vulnerability to go out into an unchanged world with our changed selves and trust that we will be successful.

Sometimes, this becomes a stumbling block for clients.  It could be because we need to do more work on our own internal anxiety before we can take action.  Often though, it is due to confusion about how to actually handle things differently.  Isn’t it normal to need some practice with a new skill before we use it ‘for real’?  This very basic truth about learning is why I believe therapy has to be active.  Perhaps the most common technique is to role play anticipated situations/conversations.  That is an incredibly valuable exercise as we get to form new words and even hold our bodies in different positions than we have before.

I am finding though, that there are plenty of additional ideas for experiential learning.  Last week, I joined a team of colleagues at WinShape to participate in team building exercises with a facilitator who happened to be a therapist.  As we funneled tennis balls through short plastic tubes, held mousetraps in our joined hands, and moved a bowling ball without touching it, I saw so many connections between these activities and the principles that clients are often struggling to implement in their lives:  Creative problem solving, collaboration, trust, believing they can do hard things, believing it is possible to do things differently than before, etc.  Our activities culminated with a climb to the top of what they refer to as the “Pamper pole”.  I’ll let you imagine why it has garnered that name.  Let me just say that I have not experienced that level of terror in a very long time!  Conquering it was the best thing that could have happened though, at a time in my life when I’ve been questioning my ability to rise to the amazing mission unfolding before me.  It gave me absolutely tangible proof that I can dominate and that has already provided energy to move forward with the hard things.  There is nothing like actual success to fuel further success.  The same techniques I used to get through the exercises at WinShape are the same techniques I will use to power through the obstacles I face in the rest of my life.  That is how this works.

I am so excited to bring these kinds of activities back to my clients.  Not just individual sessions, but family sessions, groups and especially corporate workshops.  I have a passion for leadership development and building corporate culture, so this approach fits perfectly!  I do promise however, not to utilize 30 foot telephone poles 🙂

Heart, Mind, Body and Soul

In late 2013, my body staged a full mutiny against me.  After a lifetime of significant emotional stress, capped off by the loss of my daughter, my body had enough and decided it was no longer going to be “business as usual”.  Cognitively, I understood the connection between emotional and physical health.  Over the years, I had done my fair share of self-care in terms of addressing nutrition, exercise, connecting with others and even seeking counseling.  However, it had never been at the level commensurate with what I was actually dealing with.  I tend to focus on the good and what I have to get done so much of my methodology involved “keeping it moving”.  Maybe you can relate?  Especially when you’re a parent, it’s easy to convince yourself that there is no time to live life at the depth that holistic health requires.

By January of 2014, I had to make some drastic decisions and I declared the new year – one of recovery.  I made those doctor’s appointments, scheduled procedures, exited a whole lot of commitments, re-entered therapy and pursued a more consistently healthy lifestyle.  Who I am today is so very different and I am grateful!  Don’t get me wrong…it is scary to upend your life, to attend to those things under the surface.  It is a painful process to face the things which need to be grieved, and new insight causes us to re-evaluate all that has come before….not always with the kindest vision.  Oh, but how it has all been worth it!  In the process, I’ve explored this mind/body connection even more and solidified my understanding of just how much the body cannot be fooled.  It will assert itself no matter what.

It is this experience which drives my work – both in the classroom and in the therapist chair.  My area of expertise is the emotional, social and mental worlds.  I am not a doctor or a pastor but I can ask the questions that help us look at all the connections.  I can dive in to the deep waters of trauma, relational damage and the mind tricks we all play while monitoring their effect on our physical and spiritual health.  It’s a complicated journey and one I’ve become convinced we cannot do alone.  I have found my guides and I love giving back the same.  If this topic interests you…contact us to express your interest in a workshop – we plan our events based on what the public requests.

I would love to hear what others have learned along the way in this regard.  How have these mind/heart/body/soul connections manifested for you?