I actually don't like that term "safe" since it's definition is: absence of risk. We all know that no part of life meets that definition. I think we'll go with "safer" people. The concept has been mentioned in previous posts so I thought it time to focus on what I mean by this business of finding and connecting with safer...[ read more ]

codependent [koh-di-pen-duh-nt] See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com Adjective 1. of or relating to a relationship in which one person is physically or psychologically addicted, as to alcohol or gambling, and the other person is psychologically dependent on the first in an unhealthy way. Noun 2. one who is codependent or in a codependent relationship. "Codependent" is so overused at this point and has come to mean just about...[ read more ]

I live in Orlando and so I am sitting here looking at reports showing Irma's path headed directly toward us.  As I scan my social media news-feeds and talk to loved ones, it is clear that anxiety is high and coping skills are a must if we don't want to end up losing a lot of sanity ground by the...[ read more ]

I am sitting in a hostel in Brussels, Belgium at this moment - taking some down time to rest before heading out for the evening.  I've been away from home now for four weeks and I can definitely testify that leaving one's comfort zone for extended periods of time facilitates much internal transformation.  Next week, I'll write more specifically about...[ read more ]

I stole the title of this post from a great book.  It perfectly captures a phenomenon I've been living out personally and that I see in the lives of my clients quite often: This business of hanging on to relationships far beyond their expiration date. Why do we do this?  The short answer is fear, but let's break it down...[ read more ]

"My loved one deals with anxiety - how can I be supportive?"  It's a frequent question as anxiety tops the list of common mental health issues in the US.  When it comes to relationships, we want to love well, to actually be effective in our efforts to help but good intentions don't always lead to good outcomes.  Thankfully, there are...[ read more ]

Experience is the greatest teacher they say...  Whatever dysfunctions we have going on in our lives (and yes, we all have some) - we come by them honestly.  None of us wakes up one morning and decides to be defensive, destructive, avoidant, etc. for no reason.  We approach life based on the experiences we've had and the meanings we've made...[ read more ]

If you read last week's post, you know that sleep has been an "issue" for me lately.  Generally speaking, exhaustion has been my constant companion.  At first, I chalked this up to the aforementioned backsliding on sleep hygiene.  But...in my heart I knew there was more to the story.  There always is. There is a popular metaphor about the frog...[ read more ]

The best preachers deliver the messages they most need themselves :).  That's the principle behind this week's post...on sleep.  I've definitely fallen off the wagon in this area of life and so perhaps by writing about healthy sleep habits, I will jump-start my own process back to the land of nod. According to the CDC, more than a third of...[ read more ]

We parent as well as we were parented.  That can be a comforting or frightening statement...depending on our history.  I remember when I first gave birth, I was determined to do this thing "right".  This is how I had been trained to approach everything for 20 years.  Certainly, this task - the most important one I'd ever tackle - demanded...[ read more ]